How to Start a Conversation at a Formal Event and Keep It Going

The Gala Girl
1 day ago
2 min read

Walking into a formal event often brings a quiet question with it: Who do I talk to, and how do I start?

Most people assume everyone else in the room is confident, connected, and socially fluent. In reality, many attendees are having the same internal conversation. They just hide it better.

Formal events tend to magnify this feeling because the setting is elevated. The clothing is intentional. The room has structure. That can make conversation feel higher-stakes than it really is.

The good news is that formal events are actually some of the easiest places to start conversations once you know what to listen for.

Start with the shared experience

The simplest entry point is the event itself.

You are all there for the same reason, whether it is a gala, an awards ceremony, or a fundraiser. That shared context gives you permission to comment without feeling intrusive.

Simple openings work best:

“Have you been to this event before?”
“What brought you here tonight?”
“How did you hear about this?”

These questions are neutral and open. They invite participation without demanding personal disclosure.

Listen for energy, not titles

At formal events, people often lead with their roles or credentials. That is understandable, but it is not always where connection lives.

Instead of focusing on what someone does, notice how they talk about it. Are they excited? Reflective? Curious? Nervous?

Responding to energy rather than status keeps the conversation grounded:

“You sound really proud of that.”
“That seems like a meaningful project.”
“That must have been a big moment for you.”

These responses show attentiveness without turning the exchange into an interview.

Let the room do some of the work

Formal spaces offer natural conversational anchors. The venue, the program, the décor, the cause behind the event. These elements exist to be noticed.

If the conversation pauses, it is okay to reference what is happening around you:

“This room has such an interesting feel.”
“I was surprised by how many people showed up.”
“The energy tonight feels very celebratory.”

These observations often invite agreement or contrast, which naturally extends the exchange.

Know when to let it end

Not every conversation needs to become a relationship.

One of the most confident social skills is knowing when to exit gracefully. If the conversation feels complete, you can acknowledge it and move on without awkwardness: